Irrelevant Thoughts and Other Things
Come with an open mind, 'cause it's going to get pretty weird up in here.

Jun
02

So, it’s June.  For those in the USA that means one thing: gay pride month.  In celebration of this glorious month I have decided to postpone some of my other writing for this.  Because helping you all get your rainbow stuff is just perfect for this time of year.  Though, I should say, before I begin, that I am not sponsored by any of these sites, nor getting money for this so it is just my opinion.  So here they are, the best online pride shops around.

1) Pride Shack is the place that I first go to when I am looking for anything queer.  They have rings (I am actually wearing one of their rings right now) and novelty mugs.  The amount of rainbow on that site astounds me, with jewelry and clothing galore.  Though it is clearly pointed towards the gay community the site still has stuff for bisexuality, transgender people, military, bikers, smokers, families and friends.  Products from here can also easily be found on Amazon, making purchases that much easier.

2) Love and Pride is so high up on this list for a very good reason.

All your purchases make a difference at LoveandPride.com, the first online lifestyle brand for people who believe in equality, diversity and tolerance.  We donate a portion of the proceeds from every purchase (in some cases 100%) on our website to organizations that support our community, like the Matthew Shepard Foundation, and Marriage Equality USA.  Read below to learn more about these amazing organizations.  With Love and Pride you can look good and do good all at the same time!

At this current time the proceeds are going to the Matthew Shepard Foundation (“The Matthew Shepard Foundation was founded by Dennis and Judy Shepard in memory of their 21-year-old son, Matthew (his full name was Matthew Wayne Shepard), who was murdered in an anti-gay hate crime in Wyoming in October 1998. Created to honor Matthew Shepard in a manner that was appropriate to his dreams, beliefs and aspirations, the foundation seeks to “Replace Hate with Understanding, Compassion & Acceptance” through its varied education, outreach and advocacy programs and by continuing to tell Matthew’s story.”) , the Human Rights Campaign (“The Human Rights Campaign is America’s largest civil rights organization working to achieve lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) equality. By inspiring and engaging all Americans, HRC strives to end discrimination against LGBT citizens and realize a nation that achieves fundamental fairness and equality for all.”, “HRC seeks to improve the lives of LGBT Americans by advocating for equal rights and benefits in the workplace, ensuring families are treated equally under the law and increasing public support among all Americans through innovative advocacy, education and outreach programs. HRC works to secure equal rights for LGBT individuals and families at the federal and state levels by lobbying elected officials, mobilizing grassroots supporters, educating Americans, investing strategically to elect fair-minded officials and partnering with other LGBT organizations.”), the Mercury Phoenix Trust (“Immediately after the death of Freddie Mercury from AIDS related causes in London on 24th November 1991, the remaining members of Queen and Jim Beach their manager took the decision to raise money and awareness about AIDS in his memory. Together they organised the 1992 Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert for AIDS Awareness to launch The Mercury Phoenix Trust to distribute the monies raised from this concert. Since 1992 the Mercury Phoenix Trust have been responsible for donating more than £8 million in the fight against AIDS making over 600 grants to charities worldwide.”)  and Marriage Equality USA (“We believe the most powerful way to persuade people to support marriage equality is to tell our stories and put real faces to both the harms of marriage discrimination and the joys of marriage equality. Greater awareness lessens the fears and misconceptions around same-sex couples and their families. That is why MEUSA actively sponsors and engages in letter-writing to publications, large media events and press conferences, statewide rallies, speak-outs, and other high-profile activities. We believe exposure through film, TV commercials, and print ads are extremely effective. By putting same-sex marriage in the news, we can ensure visibility of the issue.”).

However, the site itself has many options in pride-wear.  The directory is huge, and I just haven’t had time to go through it all but I honestly suggest checking this one out.  I like this one a lot.

3) Rainbow Depot is one of my personal favorites.  The website states that it is gay owned and operated.  It has a great variety of pride for all sorts of people.  Gay (both men and women), bisexuals, trans and bear.  With a whole bunch of styles and designs you can spend hours on this site.

4) PrideID has made some cheesy puns but is all and all a nice looking website for your stuff.

We are Uniquely Different Jewelry Creations. We are based in Sterling Heights, Michigan. We have been in business since 1994.

  Frustrated with a lack of jewelry choices, we started this business with a $ 400 tax return and an ideal- to provide a quality product at a reasonable price, that will last. We’ve made constant improvements over the years, and have subjected many friends to “product torture tests”. Fortunately, all of their efforts have paid off.

  We ” Pride ” ourselves on constantly creating new and creative jewelry, designed for everyone. We also offer the best in body jewelry, Sterling Silver & Stainless Steel jewelry  as well as a wide variety of Pride themed shopping.

5) JustPride.com is just fine for looking at pride stuff.  The format is great and currently the shirts category starts with “Boys Will Do Boys” which I just find funny.  I am running out of things to say for all these sites.  They all look the same.

6) Always Proud is a great site for pride stuff, or so it appears to be.  It’s a lot like the others:

Gay and Lesbian Pride Merchandise and Gifts.
Gay and Lesbian Owned and Operated. Fabulous Online Shopping!
Products including Pride Merchandise, Movies, Calendars & Jewelry.
Discreet and Secure Online Shopping. Guaranteed!

7) Gay Rainbow Sister’s Emporium has a lot of the rainbow.  You can find a bunch of stuff there along with some bear and bi stuff but mostly rainbow.

8) GLBT Shirts is a site with all sorts of interesting designs for so many things that have pride.  Rainbow, lesbian, bisexual, trans, bear, leather, intersex, gender, pan, asexual, hetero, poly, family and states.

9) Bi Pride Shop.  I want to mention this one because June is for all LGBT and sometimes you just feel out of the fun when everything is rainbow when you want the pink, purple and blue.  Well, here you have it.  A site for the bisexuals of the world.

10) Search up LGBT/gay/lesbain/bi/trans/whatever pride on Zazzle, CafePress, Amazon, Etsy and all those other multi-purpose buy sites.  I don’t have enough time or the need to waste my energy to link to all of those but hey, you should know how the internet works. Google them.

11) FckH8 is just all over cool.  Though it doesn’t have the extremely prideful stuff, with rainbows and things like “sorry ladies I am gay” it does have some pride stuff and I basically use one of their pictures once a day on Instagram.  I actually, just recently, ordered a shirt from here and I can’t wait to get it.  This is at the bottom of the list because their are not many things on the site, but I overall just love them and I think it’s great so yeah.

 

In conclusion, where is the chapstick lesbian pride stuff at?

May
31

Yes, I know I have been away for much too long and I don’t know if anyone is going to read this anymore but I will say that while I was gone I did some serious thinking about this blog.  In my free time I go on websites where I answer questions and I just go through the LGBT questions trying to use what I know about the community to give people some advice.  I always feel great after spending some time on that because I know that I am at least trying to help people out.  I know that there are plenty of blogs on Tumblr that are dedicated to LGBT help for the very specific cases.  However, I am not that kind of person and I like giving the more general help (however, if you ever need help on anything that is specific I always put my blog email at the bottom of all my posts and I will try my hardest to answer you).  I love sharing what I learn with the world and if I can make that about something I care about (LGBT issues and that community in general) than that is great because that is what I love doing.  So this is just me saying that it may suck but I am switching my blog over to be more about LGBT matters than anything else.  Still, everything still stands.  If you want my opinion on something outside of my to-be-typical topic then you can still ask for it and then you will get a response in one of a few ways.  I will either respond at the bottom of a post, so look for that, reply in the comments, or if there is a great deal of content on it than I might make it a full post.  I have a list of stuff that I plan to cover before I have to go back to school so look forward to some in depth explanations of things I just brushed over the first time and a few new topic.  Leave requests for topics in the comments of any of my posts or by emailing me at kenzi.blog.contact@gmail.com .

Mar
01

Now, I know it may sound immature and whatever but I have some serious things to say about the shows on Disney Channel.  Of course I actually sometimes find myself switching to their shows every once and a while because, honestly, I am not the kind of person that watches Jersey Shore or Degrassi and when Cake Boss, Say Yes to the Dress, The Big Bang Theory, NCIS (the original, no LA versions for me), Castle, Friends reruns or That 70’s Show reruns aren’t on I do flip through the kid channels.  And I admit that I do have a favorite show on Disney and that I watch it sometimes and actually quite like some of the characters.  I was in tears when The Suite Life on Deck ended, same with Hannah Montana (even though that show was really lame, it was a goldmine of jokes).  However, over the years I have made up a sizable list of things that I find wrong in Disney shows.

1) There was no purpose for the read headed chick on That’s So Raven.  Let’s face it, that girl was only there so that there was some diversity on the set.  Chelsea was the sidekick of Raven and while I am all for diversity (and I thought she was a great character) the chick was white, and for a reason.

2) On the newer show “Good Luck Charlie” there are no Mexicans.  Don’t take it the wrong way, because I swear that there is a point to what I am saying.  The show is supposed to take place in Colorado, though I have no idea of the exact town in the state.  Anyone who has been to that state knows for a fact that the Latino population is much larger than the black population.  Yet on the show there are zero Latinos and like two black characters.  I just don’t get it.

3) On the entire channel there are no gay characters.  Now I get it.  Disney actually is very pro-gay and stuff but there is an unhealthy lack of gayness.  It’s understood, okay, they are afraid of what people would say and how many views that they would loose and stuff like that.  There is a reason that Teletubbies is off the air (for those of you that don’t know the purple one with the triangle above it’s head and the red purse was just too different to be appropriate for small children) however I know for a fact that I quite liked that show as a kid and that if I had more shows with possibly gay characters throughout my life I would have realized that (a) I was gay and (b) that it was okay a whole of a lot faster.  Let’s face it the incredibly hetero shows that kids watch don’t help the LGBT youth cause.

4) Going back to old school Disney (meaning the shows I watched as a child) I don’t think I ever learned the ending of many shows.  Lizzie McGuire, which was, let’s face it, really fun to watch in all the movies and the shows and I guess I will never know the end.  Kim Possible, possibly the best cartoon ever, unless you count The Powerpuff Girls, is another show that I just didn’t ever learn the end of.  Did she end up with Ron Stoppable?  Cause if that girl didn’t…  That and Phil of the Future, The Emperor’s New School and Cory in the House.

5) The shows are getting worse.  Or I am getting older.  Either way.  It’s just getting stupid.  Some of the shows are interesting these days but it’s not looking good.  With shows like Jessie, Dog with a Blog and Gravity Falls I just don’t know what to do.  It would seem that ever since Wizards of Waverly Place ended it’s all gone downhill.  It would seem that the only show I can really stand these days is Austin and Ally, because it has over the top characters, and it kind of sucks too but it makes for great sleepovers.

I guess my message is that Disney needs to get better shows now.  Ones with gay characters.

Feb
18

So, I haven’t been here in a while…  Um, yeah.  So instead of a normal blog that I would normally do I am just going to be all odd and write out some questions and answers, but they will probably get interesting.

1) What is your name?

Mackenzie, but here I go by Kenz or Kenzi or Z.

2) Do you have a pet?

Yes, a dog.

3) When was your first kiss?  Second kiss?  Third?  Fourth?  Fifth?  Can you think of any others?

I have only been kissed like 20 times by three people in the same night.  So interesting…  And it was last night.  I am so innocent.  But it was in a game of spin the bottle so I am even more innocent, and I had known all of them for like an hour before hand.

4) Phone type?

iPhone 4, white.

5) Favorite electronic?

Laptop, it’s a Lenovo.

6) Amount of electronics?

With me right now I have my: phone, iPod touch, iPod nano, TV, DVD player, cable box (that’s right they are separate), Nook, CD player, DS, DSi and alarm clock.  So 11.  Odd.

7) Favorite pattern?

Plaid.  I am either such a dyke or such a hipster.

8) Something you are jealous about?

Friends.  Like last night when I played spin the bottle it was with my friend’s friends (none of which I knew) and it was pretty sad because I was like “Damn, I wish I had friends like that.”

Jan
03

I am just going to come out and say it.  I am writing this like three months in advance.  And by doing so I am totally just deciding not to do the blogs I am actually supposed to be typing.  And this might be a shorter rant but I just need to say this!

OK.  So I am a writer in my spare time.  I invent characters and create a life and world for them.  If you were to ever take a trip to my brain you would see so many things that you would be scarred for life.  Writers are in control of their stories, for the most part, and my life is honestly starting to feel like a bit of a story.  My personality seems whacked and I can think of so many reasons  not to hang out with people  from school that I can’t even count.  The first, and most prominent, reason is that I have a different personality at school than I do at home.  At school I am less loud, less likely to threaten to kill people, wouldn’t dare to speak up against or for something.  At home (and in my second home AKA the internet) I am loud, threaten to kill people, actually hurt people when they cross too many lines, and speak up to a point where I am literally awaiting the death threats in my email ( kenzi.blog.contact@gmail.com ).  So to round what I just said up into a slightly easier to understand sentence I will say this: I created a second me, because it is in my nature to create characters, however it is a true surprise how far that character went.

Did you know that the good thing about creating all these characters is that it really can be quite fun.  The creation, seeing them become a person in your head, writing down the story for them.  But then, you tend to fall in love with the character.  You have made them from your heart, know exactly where their story is going because you came up with it, but you just don’t want it to go down that path again.  And then you sit there for hours trying to talk yourself into typing that page, and all it takes is a look at the ending and you’ve made up your mind.  All of this because I fall in love with my fictional characters, the one that dance through my head with witty comebacks I use when needed, new ways of thinking, all types of things because their hair color, eyes and name are only the beginning to how real these characters can get.

Which brings me back to my previous topic.  The character I invented as a mask for myself is named Mackenzie.  Not Kenzie, Kenz or Kenzers.  Some people get to see Kenzi when they open up their eyes and get to know me.  Only one person at my school.  One out of more than a thousand.  And we’re not best friends.  We’re only in the same math class.  But Jay is great so I let him in a bit, not all the way but he got to see the loud, overly expressive girl I hide inside Mackenzie.

But this rant doesn’t just stop there.  No.  Writing is a lot more than making a character.  Even if that character seems so real.  It’s still not done.  That character needs a story.  A plot.  That is what is so great about writing.  The author is nearly always in control of what happens.  Sure, sometimes those characters will make their own decisions and without the writer noticing the story has taken a change for the better.  But even so the story mostly stays on track.  I have always made up a single character, gave them a friend and then wrote.  After a few pages of just plain junk I sit down, with a strong main character with me, and wrote down the plot.  I know the end before it comes, heck sometimes I write the end first just to get it out of the way or because I have an idea.

However, in my life, no matter how real Mackenzie seems I just can’t make her a plot and write her story.  If I got to pick her story and make it just the way I wanted than I would have Mackenzie disappear and Kenz come out and be all “Ka-Pow!”  But for some reason I can’t.  Kenz doesn’t want to show herself to everyone at school.  I am not afraid.  I won’t back down from them.  And Mackenzie is slowly leaving.  But not fast enough!

I want to sit down and write that plot.  I have tried so many times.

  • Kenz gets rid of Mackenzie
  • Kenz comes out
  • 5.0 GPA
  • College
  • Masters Degree
  • Job

But that doesn’t feel real.  Because life is never that easy for me.  When writing a story I pick three major problems, most the time, and write them and come up with a plot around them.  But in the short time I have been alive I have had so many more than three problems.  And worst of all, unlike in writing, I can’t just see into the future and know everything ends in a certain way.  I have no idea how to act with my life because I don’t know where it is leading.  And maybe this doesn’t bother most people.  But I am not most people.  I am that girl with two personalities.  I am the girl who is trying to WRITE her life.  So, yeah, I am very different and can’t wait to see how my life turns out.  But until then my writing tendencies might drive me crazy!  Why can’t I just write myself a nice romance?

Dec
15

First off, this is a tragic event and I really am sorry for everyone that was affected by this in any other way other than the “OH!  The shock…” kind of thing.  And it must suck to be in that kind of position and I really am sorry and lucky that it doesn’t directly affect me.

When something like this happens I am always reminded of how few people actually try and make a situation less tense by laughing about it.  Yeah, more people laugh about it later on, but I kind of find a way to laugh about a few minutes after I hear about it or it happens to me.  I mean, when I fall down I just start laughing trying to imagine what my face must have been when I hit the ice, and that is for a) the benefit of everyone around me so that they know I am okay and b) for myself so I feel better.  Yeah, murder is a little harder but at the same time I kind of do the same thing.  I am sure that makes me sound like an awful person but in the car when my father was explaining to my little brother that the shooting happened at a elementary school and my brother asked “Did the guy go there?” I just had to respond with “Yes, the shooter was a fourth grader.”  That earned me a very stern look from my father.

In truth it sucks that these things happen but they happen and everyone going around moping about it doesn’t really help move forward.  I am not the only person to do this.  Who hasn’t joked about how Bush went after the wrong country for 9/11?  Who hasn’t mentioned that the Aurora shooter had died his hair to look like a red headed Joker?  Yeah, it may seem inappropriate.  It may seem insensitive but it is my way of grieving   In fact it makes sense.  When tragic things come up in a conversation nothing ends it faster than just leaving it to silence and acting awkward.

Of course, the comedic route isn’t always best.  If you are around someone that was directly affected it is not a good idea.  If you are around people that will take it the wrong way it is best to just leave it to silence sometimes.  Though other times you say something and count how many people give you the “Why the firetruck are you joking at a time like this?” look.  But some people really deal with these things exactly like I do.  They make jokes to ease the tension.  Sometimes the jokes come too quickly and sometimes they really sting but eventually the jokes will come out.  Society gets over these things with jokes.

I mean, there are Hitler jokes and he took out so many people, and if society can joke about that then eventually my jokes about these other things will be okay as well.  I think I just let them out a little too soon…

Dec
14

As part of the gay community I can honestly say that I do understand both sides of the acronym problems.  I mean, the order isn’t clear, it isn’t inclusive enough, it’s recognizable and therefore shouldn’t be changed, it’s GLBT, asexuality is a lack of sexual orientation (total BS, but whatever) so shouldn’t be included, making it longer will confuse people, keeping it as is hurts the community by not being inclusive.  However, when you think about it all I can say is that I really think it is pretty simple.  LGBT (or GLBT) is the most commonly known acronym.  It is what we all know, we all know that it stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender.  Which is easy.  And then there are people out there that throw in their own little letters for fun.  Intersex.  Pansexual.  Two-Spirited.  Questioning. Ally.  All I can say is “Why?”  In my opinion we could make it a lot easier.

Let’s just make it QT.  Queer and Transgender.  Both are umbrella terms so it would be incredibly inclusive.  And it’s like an insta-adorable.  That solves it, guys.  That’s all I can say on the matter for now.  This was pretty short, sorry.

Dec
06

Guess what?  When I did my original sexuality post I left some groups out!  Which I think is really sad and since I am now kind of identifying as one of them I must come forward and leap into the world with these!  So basically I just left it off with straight, gay, bi, pan, poly and asexual, however there is more!  Yay!  Well, as a basic warning I will say that I will be going into greater detail with asexuality, which I barely went over, along with the many types of asexuality.  Also, branches of in betweens.

And since most this post will be focusing on the branches between asexuality and sexuality we shall first go over these things.  OK.  So as always I would never say that anyone is something.  No one can put a label on a person but that person.  But for the sake of explaining things, and perhaps helping unsure people, I shall try not to blur all the lines for you.

Some one that is sexual experiences a sex drive and is attracted to people.  This is not to say that those that are asexual will never have any sex drive (though some don’t) nor will they ever be attracted to someone on any level (though some will never feel that way from appearance).  In fact, asexuality is a pretty hard to define thing.  That’s why there are so many ways you could argue over it.

Moving on from that.  Asexuality is basically a lack of strong attraction or sex drive.  However, there are so many forms of asexuality that is gets kind of crazy.  I’m gonna sit down and list all the ones I can find.

I’ll start off on the most defiantly ‘asexual’.  Nonlibidoism is probably as far from sexual as you can get.  By definition those that are nonlibidoism (did I use that properly?) have no sex drive and no sense of attraction.  Basically, they don’t like people for their looks and don’t want (or need) the sex.

Second, the opposite of nonlibidoism, libidoism.  It’s basically either the experience of sex drive or attraction or both.

Now, according to http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=ABCD_types there are four basic sub-types of asexuality.

  • Type A: those that have a thing called a sex drive but don’t have attraction.  So they could masturbate but never actually be attracted to anyone.  Pretty simple, until you remember that this is a basic way to label.  In other words, very few people could 100% be sure that this is true for them.
  • Type B: attraction without a sex drive.  This doesn’t mean anything except that they will like people for looks, just not to get in their pants.  However, attraction can sometimes be intellectual as well.
  • Type C: attraction and sex drive, however there is no link between the two.  This kind of baffles me, so I really don’t understand it that well, however I understand that it is just a way that some people see their sexuality.
  • Type D: this is going back to nonlibidoism.

Since there sexuality is not black and white, as shown it the ABCD types of asexuality, there is this thing called the grey area, or Grey-A.  This is basically anything but completely sexual.  This includes asexuality (since asexuality is just a label and encompasses so much).  It practically is:

  • do not normally experience sexual attraction, but do experience it sometimes
  • experience sexual attraction, but a low sex drive
  • experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them
  • people who can enjoy and desire sex, but only under very limited and specific circumstances

Which is also the definition of asexuality to some extent.  This is also called (this list also includes things included in the grey area so do your research better than I did!) “asexualish”, “demisexuality”, “sexualish”, “hyposexual”, and “semisexual”.

Demisexuality is attraction after an emotion bond has been created.  Like, if Sally doesn’t have attractions to anyone (so she is not going to be attracted to strangers and cute boys) and is friends with Fred for a long period of time.  If during that period of time Sally and Fred have some kind of emotion or intellectual or something bond then Sally may become attracted to Fred.  However, Sally will still not be attracted to people she doesn’t have that bond with.  And at the same time Sally may have a deep, emotional bond with George but not feel attracted at all.

And since I have already posted an asexuality flag and none of these have another flag I am just not going to post one.  Um.  Yeah.

So now for the rant!  (Ha!  As if this wasn’t long enough?)

KENZ, YOU MENTIONED NOW IDENTIFYING AS ONE OF THESE?

Yes, indeed I did.  However, I don’t know for sure.  And like I said in the last rant my sexuality is very fluid so it is always changing, so that is why I tend to have the need to know so much about these…  🙂 But if I had to go out of the limb and say what I had to say I would say that it is somewhere in the asexual/grey area with demisexual tendencies.  So that makes no sense.  And if you want to get really technical you could say I am a pan/bi ace with demisexual tendencies.  Oh, that is so sensible.

ON THE LAST STATEMENT ABOVE…

Yes, while asexual is a sexuality you can also have a preference of who you do have slight attraction to/who you fall in love with (with or without attraction).  So there can be gay aces and straight alike.

WHAT ABOUT TRANS AND SUCH?  THE ‘T’ IN LGBT DOES STAND FOR IT, YOU KNOW?

Well, technically that is a gender, which I will have a rant about later on.    When I do I will link it back to here and my part 1 so that all of you that have been requesting it will get to see it.

RANT TIME:

Well, actually never mind, for I think I have covered everything that needs to be covered.

Sorry that there are no pictures…

Nov
25

Friends, family, strangers, people who found this because I am bad at tagging, followers, readers, lovers and others the holidays are now upon us.  In the US we have passed Thanksgiving and Black Friday (which still sounds like a racist thing to call a day of the week).  November is nearly at it’s end, and the winter holidays are just around the corner.  A simple page flip on the calendar from attacking us with high prices, jolly commercials and overly-used music.  Soon the world we be taken over by blinding lights, glitter, the idea of snow, reindeer and happiness. Beefy, blimp, bulging, bulky, chunky, gargantuan, heavyset, oversize, plump, stout and whale-like men across the world will be dressed in red suits and fake beards in malls, having little children sit on their lap.  The short, pointy eared and strangely dressed elves will come out to play.  And eight lit candles will burn for eight nights all over.  But before any of this can happen there is something so incredibly important that needs to be celebrated.

One year ago on this very day I made a blog, wrote a bad first post and published it to the world.  This blog started as my way to be different, to show the world that I was no mainstream but in this I have found that no one wants to know what some stranger on the internet is doing with their life.  It started off under the name “Goth At Heart and Soul” which I am glad I changed because that isn’t what this blog is about.  To think that is started off with this:

So, I am totally new at blogging.  But, if your a genius you got that from the post name or title or what ever!

Okay now that I’ve said that I might want to continue to say: for those of you who are not genuises and did not make any sense of my blog’s name and/or did not read my profile then I may just want to expalin the name to YOU!

I am goth at heart and soul.  I am not goth on the exterior because it SUCKS being the only person in dark colors and extreme makeup at school.  Now go ahead and call me a poser.  I wont care!!!  In fact before you do let me say, I don’t really care about what most people think about me.  Not that I don’t want comments, it’s just that I think that if you want to cyber-insult someone it’s better you don’t waste your time trying here.  I wont be bothered by your insults…

So here I am saying: I hope someone decides to follow this because otherwise I will be typing to myself…

And now to blog here I am learning things about gender, sexuality, religion, opinions, bias, liteture, humans as a species, the past, predictions of the future and culture means a lot to me.  The fact that I now have to get actual facts before I can lay down my opinion shows that I am a more mature person (or so I hope).  And I still share some of the say that I want to share what I am learning, my opinions and facts with the world, but now I am not doing it to feel less lonely or because I want to think of myself as cool.  Now it’s because I love blogging, I love reading blogs, getting comments and likes and votes, I love logging on to WordPress to see that I have reached a new goal and I love seeing that I have had so many views.  I love that there are people who enjoy reading this, or at least have enjoyed reading some of what I say.  I love how much experience this blog has given me at writing.

Today, we all celebrate that I have gotten slightly better at writing, something we can all be thankful for.

In truth I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has supported me.  My friends, though very few and far apart, my followers (I love you all), the people that didn’t mean to click on this blog, the people who search for weird things and find this site, WordPress for not deleting it, every single site that somehow has a link to here on it, the people who have never seen this site ever but I have seen theirs and those inspired me to continue, Mari Mancusi (a woman who wrote a really bad book that inspired me to start this blog in the first place), my dog Ginger for laying on my bed and occasionally walking on my keyboard so I have to go back in and make sure that nothing has random letters in it, Pandora for providing the world with music for free, Gmail for being my email site of choice, Google for having such an effecting search bar, Chrome for letting me access the internet, my computer for being so easy to type on, my phone for being there for me, the creepy flower I got from the butterfly pavilion when I was five and is creepily looking at me right now, every site that I have ever used to research things and learn, my eight grade English teacher for making me laugh during school, and most of all everyone that just read the longest sentence known to man.  I’m sorry for that incredible run-on.

But I will say that I love blogging and I hope that my writing has improved over the past year and I hope you guys will continue to see it improve as I write for years to come!

Thanks,

Kenzi

Nov
22

Gender is actually something I have been wanting to talk about for a very long time, but haven’t been able to since I didn’t know enough about a lot of things and I just kind of putting off talking about something that is so complex.  To me gender is a lot like sexuality since there is such a grey area in there, no simple black and white thing is going on.  It’s not just woman and man.  So now I will go into a little further depth.

Sex and gender are different on so many levels.  Sex is basically the physical traits that a person is born with (and sometimes switches to) that makes them female or female (I guess there are people born as neither [and people who get surgery to be neither] but I really don’t know much about that, and most people that are born that way are changed by their parents or the doctors and then raised to be said gender).  Gender however is mostly based off of society.  For a lot of people gender and sex are normally pretty much lined up but for some it is not.  The gender is normally based off of how the person is dictated to act, such as gender roles.  It is more in the mind and actions than in the pants.

So the basic genders that everyone knows about are woman and man.  For the most part when people identify as a woman or man (unless they are transsexual) they mean that they are cisgender.

Everything else falls under what is now typically called the “Transgender Umbrella”, yes, everything.

And this is just one version of the umbrella, originally I found the umbrella on a really cool site (click here [it has a really awesome free e-book and I used it a bunch for my personal learning on this subject]) that had different terms for these things, but I will go over that later.

As it says transgender is the, for lack of a better word, umbrella term for any one who does not fit into the gender binary.  This term is what inspired my whole look into gender so I am really grateful for it’s pride flag which is said to represent the different genders.  “The light blue is the traditional color for baby boys, pink is for girls, and the white in the middle is for those who are transitioning, those who feel they have a neutral gender or no gender, and those who are intersexed. The pattern is such that no matter which way you fly it, it will always be correct. This symbolizes us trying to find correctness in our own lives,” was what RainbowDespot.com told me.  I really like this flag actually.

The first thing on the left of the umbrella is masculine women, so that is where I will start there, along with feminine men because they are very similar.  As far as I know these genders have more to do with the sex than most under the transgender umbrella.  From what I know they are identifying with their birth sex and recognizing that they also show traits (either physically or mentally) of the other sex.  However, my lack of knowledge (and the lack of information) is really limiting so I really cannot go into details.

Similar to that is androgyny.  Now, the first time I heard that word was in the Joan Jett cover of the Replacements song Androgynous which is currently at the top of my list of favorite songs, even though I don’t like the original as much.  (Click here to listen to Androgynous by Joan Jett.  I am so sorry that I couldn’t put it right in the post, that is so irritating for me as well!)  Anyway, the main difference between masculine women/feminine women and androgynous persons is that while feminine men/masculine women typically identify with their gender androgyny has nothing to do with sex.  It is a totally different thing completely going away from sex, and people typically say that it is an almost equal blend between the sex roles assigned to the sexes, though it rarely has anything to do with physical sexes.  However, sometimes an androgynous person may look to be both genders, so it can be physical.  In the song Dick wears a skirt and Jane and him have the same haircut and look quite alike.

Hijra is the Indian term for transgender, typically MtF.  This may be wrong because according to Dictionary.com (my lovely friend) it is a person in India who adopts no gender role.  One of the two.  Correct me, please.

The next thing I actually know too much to talk about in this rant, so maybe I will make a different rant later on for this topic, however I will still go over transsexuality.  Transsexuals are typically either FtM or MtF.  FtM is female to male and MtF is male to female.  This is actually a pretty easy concept to understand if you have a lot of time on your hands and know some really good sources (not here).  Basically, it’s like they were born in the wrong body.  Typically they don’t know what gender they are at this super early age like, however some do and that is just as good.  FtMs do normally grow up as tomboys and I don’t know the word for it but MtFs normally as a girly-guy(?), however that is not so much as by force but by comfort and identity.  Some of them do get surgery to feel like they are in the right body and some don’t.  I will have to go into greater detail later, but this gender is really easy to find information on.

Two spirit kind of has me confused.  From what I feel like I know I can pretty confidently say that it is basically a term from, like, Native Americans that said that those who dressed as men and women were two spirited.  If you know more than me about this then please comment.

This next one is a “condition” (I don’t like that word cause it makes it seem like a negative and bad thing to be) in which the sexual organs does not quite line up with the norm.  This may be apparent at birth or way later, or not until after death.  It could be the actual sexual organs or the chromosomes that make them up.  This is all called intersex, and I am not the best person to talk about it.

Crossing back into androgyny we have bigender.  It’s actually very similar.  People who identify as bigender often feel that they are a member of both sexes.  Sometimes they even switch between the sexes involuntarily.  If they do switch they often find that it’s not only between girl and boy but also between having both genders, being somewhere on the spectrum of genders and having no gender.  There is actually another thing like this but we will go over that later.

Although biology usually determines genetically whether a human’s biological sex is male or female (though intersex people are also born), the state of personally identifying as, or being identified by society as, belonging to neither the male or female genders is considered in relation to the individual’s gender role in society, gender identity, sexual orientation or any other characteristic. While some western scholars have sought to understand the term ‘third gender’ in terms of ‘sexual orientation,’ several other scholars, especially the native non-western scholars, consider this as a misrepresentation of ‘third genders.’  To different cultures or individuals, a third gender may represent an intermediate state between man and woman, a state of being both (such as “the spirit of a man in the body of a woman”), the state of being neither (neuter), the ability to cross or swap genders, another category altogether independent of men and women. This last definition is favored by those who argue for a strict interpretation of the “third gender” concept. In any case, all of these characterizations are defining gender and not the sex that biology gives to living beings.

(quick thank you to Wikipedia for having people who know about this)

That paragraph was on third gender, which I now know more about.

According to Webster, a eunuch is man or boy deprived of his testes or external organs.  Um, that seems rather harsh.  Wikipedia told me that there were some cases that this was a choice but most were not.  Something from the bible said that some were born that way and some were made that way by man.  There was something about slavery, and that was when I realized that this is a very complex gender that I honestly couldn’t learn about in a short enough time to make this post by my deadline, so I leave it to you guys to comment if you know anything and research if you are interested.

Now we are going to talk about drag!  So, if you are aware of the LOGO channel on TV then you may have seen this word.  It is a wonderful thing to watch on that channel and I honestly recommend it.  Basically drag kings and queens are people that put on the clothes of the opposite sex to educate and entertain an audience.  And oh my gosh, it is spectacular.  They create identities and stuff to make the performance really amazing.  It is an art form and that is really cool if you ask me.  They normally do not really consider themselves part of the opposite sex, at least I think.  I would love for you guys to teach me more about this!

Have you ever seen the Rocky Mountain Horror Picture Show?  That is the film where I first heard the term transvestite.  Now, if you actually do some research you will find that while this term does go to cross dressers most don’t prefer this word (though I am sure that some do).  Or at least the male-heterosexuals don’t.

A cross dresser is a person who wears the clothing often reserved for the opposite sex.  Many prefer this term to transvestite.

Intergender is similar to bigender in the sense that those who identify it don’t see themselves as women or men.  However, from what I have read they don’t change.  They think of themselves as having no gender or being on the gender spectrum between man and woman.

Like the term transgender there is the term genderqueer.  For whatever reason it is under the Transgender Umbrella, though I have no clue why.  It is just another blanket word.  Queer means different.  So genderqueer references a gender different than cisgender.  If anything it seems to encompass everything, perhaps better than transgender, however I won’t argue this.

At the very right of this umbrella there is agender.  It is the lack of gender.  That is all.  I could very well go into specifics but it is different for everyone and I suck at explaining things.

If you are cheering and shouting “hoorah!” thinking that you have got to the end, think again.  This umbrella was just one of many.  I have another copy (though I can’t find a picture of it) that has even more terms that I need to go over before this can end.

Pangender people are those who do not wish to be labeled as female or male in gender, as they feel that they do not fit into binary genders because they feel they are all genders. The term has a great deal of overlap with genderqueer and is used by those in the LGBT community meaning “all genders.”

(thanks to Wikipedia)

So basically pangender can me a lot of things, just like all of these genders.

The term “FtMtF” means different things to different people who have recently claimed it as an identity. Literally, FtMtF can mean “female-to-male-to-female,” which is what others often assume the acronym stands for. But for many of us, the last “F” means femme…or feminine…or fluid. Many of us are feminine men, though that phrase leaves much, much out of the picture.

So, what is FtMtF? It is far from a rigid or concrete idea. It is sometimes used in reference to de- or re- transition, and often used to communicate an ongoing journey of one’s identity. It is a term we are using until we find a better one. It is a word for a specific spectrum of people. It is anything but a fancy term for cis women. FtMtF encompasses those who may also identify as trans women, trans men, drag queens, etc. It does not necessarily indicate one’s sex assignment at birth.

(big thanks to http://ftmtf.tumblr.com/about )

I really used the quotes because I don’t have a good understanding.  I assume that MtFtM is about the same…

While looking for a good way to describe and explain ambigender I found out there there really wasn’t a way.  I could refer you to a pretty unhelpful site or two or maybe give you a dictionary definition.  Except there is none.  So I did find one but I really don’t know how reliable this is: Ambigender: undefined gender. Such people feel neither male or female but are some combination of genders.  After finding this I looked in my personal dictionary and found nothing.  However there is the similar word ambiguous.  Words that have similar looks and sounds and prefixes often mean similar things.  Ambiguous means: 1) having two or more meanings 2) unclear, vague.  So you can see how these are about the same, except for how when it is ambigender is directly relates to gender.

There is another term, midlings.  I couldn’t find anything on it.  Thought maybe it was middling.  I really don’t know.  I assume it means something like androgynous or bigender.

Another word I have found is gender variant.  Gender variance, or gender nonconformity, is behaviour or gender expression that does not conform to dominant gender norms of male and female. People who exhibit gender variance may be called gender variant, gender non-conforming, or gender atypical.  Ir doesn’t really have anything to do with sex at birth.

A Transgenderist is a person who lives as a member of the opposite sex either fulltime or partime. Their original genitals are very important to them. Like a Transsexual, they may obtain electrolysis, (FFS) Facial Feminization, breast implants and take cross-sex hormones. Unlike a transsexual of course they will not “usually” obtain (GRS) Gender Reassignment surgery. “Shemales” are an example of Transgenderists but is usually a porn industry term and not respectful. Thai or Asian “Lady Boys” are also Transgenderists. There are (MTF) Male to Female and a very few (FTM) Female to Male Transgenderists.

(written by Lauren Amato, at Lauren’s Playground)

Transgenderist seem to be a whole other type of transsexual.

And finally we get to genderfluid.  If you remember my sexuality rant then you know that a lot of things are fluid.  And this includes gender.  This is similar to bigender.  I think it is pretty self explanatory  however if you need clarification email me at kenzi.blog.contact@gmail.com or comment below!

As always I need to go over opinions in these rants at all.  Learning and stating facts is simply not enough for me.

How did I learn that there were other genders?  How did I get interested in them?

When I was looking for pride flags quite some time ago for the sexuality rant I came across the transgender flag.  I thought it was pretty cool but couldn’t include it in that post because it’s not a sexuality.  So I left it behind.  Later I started looking for other sexualities.  I was planning on doing a part two.  Of course I went to a bunch of LGBT websites and stuff, that was when I realized that I wanted to look into the T.  However I didn’t.  A few weeks later someone called me a boy and I was totally okay with it and I laugh about it.  So I then looked at the words for all these genders and that is when it hit me that I HAD to do something and learn all about it.

Why is it so hard to learn about these genders?

It is hard and that is because in school they don’t want to talk about these things.  They don’t talk about homosexuals or asexuals, bisexuals or anything because there is a lot of hatred around those topics.  People don’t want their kids to learn about those things in fear that they won’t turn out normal if they do.  Of course it is actually damaging to a lot of people that they don’t.  People grow up very confused and can be scarred for life by not knowing that it is normal.  Same thing for genders.  They teach the ‘she/he’ but never the ‘ze’, and that is hurtful to a lot of minds.  Luckily there is the internet.

“Ze?”

Yes.  I took this table of pronouns from Gender Neutral Pronoun Blog.

Nominative (subject) Objective (object) Possessive determiner Possessive Pronoun Reflexive
Traditional pronouns
He He laughed I called him His eyes gleam That is his He likeshimself
She She laughed I called her Her eyes gleam That is hers She likesherself
It It laughed I called it Its eyes gleam That is its It likes
itself
They They laughed I called them Their eyes gleam That is theirs They likethemselves
Invented pronouns
Ne Ne laughed I called nem Nir eyes gleam That is nirs Ne likes nemself
Ve Ve laughed I called ver Vis eyes gleam That is vis Ve likes verself
Spivak Ey laughed I called em Eir eyes gleam That is eirs Ey likes
emself
Ze (or zie) and hir Ze laughed I called hir Hir eyes gleam That is hirs Ze likes hirself
Ze (or zie) and zir Ze laughed I called zir Zir eyes gleam That is zirs Ze likes zirself
Xe Xe laughed I called xem Xyr eyes gleam That is xyrs Xe likes xemself 

It’s extremely cool and the use of gender neutral pronouns should be more widely used.

Anything else?

It’s important to keep up with the fact that not everything is black and white and grey areas are constantly there.  If you want to know more it’s okay to comment or email me to find out more.  Researching is awesome and frequently fun.  If you guys know something comment or email me.  Send me a link.  I always want to know more.

Thanks for reading.

-Kenny (yep, I found a new nickname I like)