Dear in the Closet Gays (Trans, Lesbians, Bisexuals, Pans and Polys),

Oh my dear non-straight folk that are not quite ready to bloom, I am addressing you today because I too am in the closet.  Since I am in the midst of a search to find the best and greatest blog series that I can do I have decided that perhaps this will spark an interest in readers and draw more in, however my choice of subject is purely due to lack of other ideas at the moment.  Now, back to the topic at hand.  My letter to the internet boys, girls and everything in between.  As of late many of my friends have come out to me.  In fact in the past year alone more than five of my friends have told me that their sexuality was not quite straight.  The first of these was quite a while ago and it honestly was a bit of a new experience.  At that point I still was quite sure that I was straight, it’s a lovely thing called denial which brings you no happiness.  By the time the second person admitted I was beginning to question myself.  If I had been so straight than how come I liked girls?  Why was I so bent of being straight?  The answer is that when people are not sure of their sexuality or are in denial about it they might get very homophobic in some small ways.  Sure, I never hated gays, nor did I insist that they not act upon their love, however I didn’t allow myself to consider being anything but straight.  When the fourth cam around I was ready to admit it.  I am not straight.  And just recently, when my fifth friend came out to me, I came out to my mother. However, this little background on me will teach the young, shy and afraid very little on how to come out or how to better conceal their gay-dom.  So rather let me tell you a few things I have learned about in my time as a friend to the in-the-closets, being in the closet and my denial days.

The first thing I can honestly say that you should do is learn to accept yourself.  If you are in denial about being gay or whatever your entire life than you will never be happy.  This doesn’t mean that you should shout it from the roof top and go out and by a pin that says “I am not straight” or anything.  No, all I am saying is that I always felt stressed and awful when I was denying my sexuality.  Just get used to you because you are someone that you will have to live with your whole life.

The next thing to know is that no matter what point of coming out you are at never dis homosexuality.  Let me tell you why.  As it turns out there are more bisexuals and people of different sexuality out there than you ever knew.  So when you tell your friends that being gay is gross than you may have just insulted the one friend that would have understood you when you need someone to talk to later on.  I have a friend that insulted my sexuality without knowing and then later on came out.  I forgave her because I know that when she acted that way it was either to cover up how she truly felt or because she was in denial and wouldn’t let herself think about being anything but straight.

Now, remember that you should never feel pressured to tell anyone but sometimes you consider coming out.  The best way to do this is completely unknown to me.  I sadly have very little information to share in this category.  I have only recently came out to my mom.  My mom.  But I just came out and said it.  Before you even do that make sure your parents would be okay with it and won’t over react.  And then maybe you will consider coming out to the world, however make sure that you know how it will effect your life first.  That is all I can say on the subject.

So thanks for reading.  I will have a new letter every few weeks, probably once a month on Fridays.

Love you,

Kenzerz