The Kardashians

No we’re not gonna talk TV.  Instead I am here to talk about a very serious problem: that the Kardashians are famous.  No, really.  I am sick of the Kardashian sisters!

Let’s get one fact straight.   I have no reason to hate on them.  I am not jealous (mostly because they have NO talent).  I am not and out-right hater.  No, I am just am sick of having to hear about the Kardashians every time I turn on the news, listen to the radio, dare to look at the covers of a magazine in the grocery store or even walk down a street.  However, I do not know them and therefore can’t judge them on a deeply personal level.  However, I can go against ALL my basic principles to tell you exactly why the Kardashians bother me so much!

So let’s start with how they are famous.  Why are they famous?  Well, I believe Kim is famous for her fake eye-lashes and boobs.  Plus her big butt!

 And as for her sisters.  Khloé Kardashian is famous for being fat.  That’s what she is famous for.  And that is just awful!  She should loose some weight!  Oh, sorry.  I forgot.  She already got a bunch of crap for that…  And when she realized that her mirror wasn’t the only thing that saw her as fat she became anorexic (or maybe it was bulimic) and dropped a “few” pounds.

 

And as for Kourtney, she is known for not talking during interview and wearing minimal clothing.

 

So, does it surprise you that I have no respect for any of the Kardashian girls?

OK.  So now that you know how they are famous, let’s talk about them.

Starting once again with Kim.  She was married in 2000 to some guy (she was only 20), a producer named Damen Thomas.  I have no idea who the that is.  But got a divorce 4 years later.  That’s right.  24 and divorced: the life of every celebrity.  She dated a bunch of slightly more famous people.  In 2003 she made a sex tape with Ray J.  That was “leaked” in 2007–and by leaked of course I mean that she got a hold of the sex tape from that Ray J guy and talked with the manager she doesn’t need before “accidentally” letting it get into the hands of the press, and by accidentally I mean that she planned the whole thing.  Vision Entertainment bought the rights to the leaked tape for a million bucks, dirty money.  Then Kim decided to put a law suit on them, she wanted ownership of her sex tape.  But later on she let them keep the tape when paid 5 million dollars.  She is such a dirty porn star!  She also posed naked for Playboy.  And then there was that whole second “marriage” thing.  Though really it was all just a stunt.

While Khloé is not as interesting we will talk about her next.  She hasn’t got much dirt on her.  But she is a big part of their fashion business.  But to me it looks like the bad fashion business.  However she has gotten a DUI, then violated her parole.  She has been sued for violating a transsexual woman outside a nightclub, which is a little interesting.  And something about a 5 million lawsuit from a diet thing.  Eh, whatever.  The point is that she is not half as interesting as her older sister.  And that she can’t act.  Hm, good points to make.  She is a bit mean, seriously: violating people is not okay!

And Kourtney has nothing special on her.  All I can say is that in most pictures of her she is down right near naked.  That boring girl.

The best part about them is that they have a jewelry line for Virgins, Saints and Angles…  Which they are not…  😉  Go away you Kardashians.  I hate you!