10 Excuses: for being late

1. “I got lost looking for Narnia in my closet.” A lovely go-to excuse. It will work for nearly everything–work, school, a meet-up with friends–and it is a great way to start a conversation. Though you may actually want to know what Narnia is before you use this, otherwise the conversation starter part doesn’t work and you just look less bright than you would ever hope.

2. “Didn’t you say that the commute should start at that time?” (also) “I thought I got paid for the commute and not just my time here.” Both are great ways to claim that you didn’t get the information. Use these at your own risk because they may make you look fairly stupid as the person explains how wrong you were. And don’t forget that if you use this you either need to be using a completely serious face (to go for the “oops, I got the wrong information” thing) or clearly be kidding (to act like you were just late and that you do know whats going on) but either way you may just get in trouble.

3. “My cat had hiccups.” Now that is one convincing argument. You could use it just about everywhere. Just make sure that it is used on cat lovers and you should be fine! But in the advent where you use it on a cat-hater I suggest you just apologize instead because really, this excuse will barely help.

4. “A fox stole my car keys.” When you use this one (especially if the person is like me) expect a response like: “And was this fox named Swipper?” or “Did you try yelling ‘Swipper, no swipping!’?” or even “Did you see Dora, too?” because I am sure that if you do use this someone with kids (or who had to endure Dora the Explorer as a kid) would love to call you out on the stupidity of this.

5. “Late? No. I am just very early for tomorrow.” Oh, come on! This is just great! Because not only are you being a smart-ass but you are also claiming to be early. The only way to fallow this one up is to be late again the next day and say “I was early when I showed up earlier.”

6. *wave hand in front of person’s face droid style* ”These are no the droids you’re looking for.” It may gain you a few strange looks, but at the same time you get to make a reference and you just completely confused whoever had been waiting for you. I think that is how an excuse should be done. If you have no good reason distract the person and change the subject.

7. Person- “You’re late.”

You- “Or, you are just early.” It works best when the conversation goes in that order. I would go into detail about what makes that excuse so wonderful but I think you can see that on your own…

8. “A prositute climbed in my car at a red light, and I was afraid that my wife/girlfriend would see and think/see that I was cheating, so I got out of the car.” What? It may seem a bit far fetched and make you seem like a complete idiot but at least you have an excuse. And your excuse even claims that you are caring what your wife/girlfriend sees/thinks you are doing.

9. “The voices convinced me to clean the gun and sharpen the knives instead.” So what if the person you are talking to thinks you are crazy? It’s a great way to scare people away. Tell this to the people you don’t want to talk to and soon enough you will be feared and on your way to a “special” hospital.

10. “It was my eyes–I couldn’t see me coming on time!” I’m sure this will make them love you in seconds! Use this when talking to teachers, employers, friends, associates, hobos and even that crazy lady that lives next door! I am sure that everyone will believe and support your answer!

 

K.  So, this may turn into a series of excuses…  Maybe it will give you some ideas… 😉  Maybe it will get me some readers 🙂  No probably not.  😦  But really, I made this list for fun and enjoyed doing it!  You can expect more!  Comment with your excuses! ❤