My Dark Side and how it can screw with my sanity

OK, so before I go into my rant I must say: to my best friend I feel like a bee-yotch for ditching you.

Now:

I definitely have that lovely darker side that can make life oh so fun, interesting and plain complicated.  Some may call that darkness my future Goth ego but I currently feel like it is just part of who I really am.

I must say that some few months ago, on the first day of school, a dear friend of mine came into school as a new person.  She was wearing mostly black.  It was really a cross between Emo and Goth.  It was a few days later that I told my best friend, Haley, that I didn’t fully dislike the friend’s new style.  Haley was not impressed by the friend’s new style and told me that while she loved me like a sister if I went Goth on her she wouldn’t talk to me.  Haley is one of my few friends and therefore I didn’t want to lose her so I escaped my inner goth by covering it up by watching way too many animes.

The problem with watching animes to cover your dark, Goth side is that so many are very dark and Gothic.  So slowly I restarted my process of becoming the real me.  Over a month my makep got continiously darker.  My eyeliner techniques got impressive.  And my search history in my computer became full of searches for Gothic Subculture.  Then Haley started pulling away from me.  I was sad and felt more and more alone everyday.  So I scrubbed off the makeup and went back to pretending to be happy with what I was pretending.  It was only recently that I realized that I was never going to be happy unless I was myself.

So now that you know how I came to this decision I want to tell the world that I will be documenting my trip to Goth.  You will know it all.  

But right now, if I can, I would like to ask you to do your research, if you haven’t already.

This is my Gothic process.

Comment on what you think of my decision.  😉