The Election

Those who are not from the US or don’t live in the US may want to tune out for this post, cause it will bore you to death.

I know.  I know.  The election was on Tuesday, and by now a million people have talked about all these topics (guessing there, didn’t actually bother to check yet) yet I still really feel this need to cue you guys in on what went down for the US on Tuesday.  And yep, that means that I am skipping my regularly scheduled program of ranting just to tell you about this.

OK.  To start us off let us talk about the candidates   There were 15.  In my state I only heard about two of these guys, I don’t know about your state but for me my commercial breaks went something like this:

“We’ll be right back!” says that overly cheery voice of a character from my favorite show.

The screen goes black and then the stars and stripes come out!  I face palm, already knowing what is coming for me.  “I am republican.  I am like 65 years old and want to run your country.  As a man I feel that I have the right to tell women that they should not be allowed to abort babies.  I am very right.  And am bad at voice overs.  Like really bad at them.  I have a plan, but it’s top secret so I shall not tell you.  Did I mention that birth control should be illegal, condoms should be shredded and I have a binder full of women?  I am Mitt Romney and I approve this message.”

Coke has a commercial and we all cheer due to lack of politicians.

Some woman cries about how she voted for Obama but he didn’t change anything.

The white house is shown and I sigh, deeply.  “I am a democrat.  Unlike my rival Governor Romney I do not have grandchildren.  Live and let live.  Save the dolphins.  Eat the salmon.  Avoid church like the plague.  I speak Spanish and can do voice overs in English as well.  No, I am serious, yeah no one knew that I spoke Spanish.  It took a lot of effort.  I have a real plan and am rich but don’t want tax breaks for the upper class.  Black and loving it!  BooYa!  I am Barack Obama and I approve this message.”

Cue in man talking about how awful Romney is.

“And now back to the Big Bang Theory.”

Regardless, there were 15 candidates for president, and as we all know Obama won.

My family watched the election night news (like the nerds we are) and it was interesting.  My brother didn’t care, though he should since he only has one more election until he will be voting.  He was off playing video games in the office.  My father was in the basement away from us since he is the only republican in the household.  My mom was just sitting there peacefully watching.  Me?  Oh, I turned it into a sporting event.  Every time that Romney or Obama got a new state I would cheer (or boo).  I threw things at the TV (and they wonder why it’s broken), I yelled at the top of my lungs, I had a freaking dance party when Obama passed 270.  And then I casually sat down on the couch and watched the speeches.

Now about the speeches.  In truth I couldn’t listen to it all, it was impossible, but I did know that Romney had only been prepared for the win.  So in his limo ride to the center he wrote down his “darn it, I soooo lost” speech on one of the papers from his binders of women.  Yet, I am sure that Obama was prepared to give the “haha, suck on that republicans” speech.

Three states voted on legalization of recreational marijuana.  Washington (state), Colorado and Oregon.  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised that both Colorado and Washington voted yes on 64.  (And have you guys noticed how similar that looks to 69?!?!?!)  CU Boulder will be partying it up in January.  After intensive research on Boulder I learned about 4/21.  Well, good news Boulderites, 4/21 is becoming 365.  However, I don’t know enough about Washington to say anything on that matter.

Also, I hear there may be a new state.  That’s right people.  You heard it here for the 123,456,789,000,000th (woah!  totally split even!) time.  Puerto Rico (oh shnickies, is that how you spell that?) may become the 51st state in the US.  Something I have been wanting for quite some time, of course I have no say in the matter since I don’t live there.  I keep wondering what the new flag will look like.  Will there be a awkwardly place 51st star.  I can imagine the little kids questioning that right now.

“Why’s that star so lonely, Daddy?”
“Puerto Rico.”

And that it’s it.  I know, I am such a average Jo(sephine-lia-nelly) but I just had to get my say out there.