11 Things to Walk Into

OK, so recently I started not seeing things that are right in front of me and began walking directly into them, a real shame, too since I tend to do this a really bad times, like when there is an entire crowd watching.  So here it comes, 11 Things to Walk Into.

1. Signs that tell you to watch your step.  This is pure irony when this happens but you gotta love it.
2. Automatic opening doors.  I actually have a friend that has done this.  They got a nice bruise on their nose from it.
3. The side of a truck.  Because sometimes you just don’t see the giant truck sitting there in your way.
4. A shut, wooden, door.  Did you know that most humans lack the ability to walk through solid objects?  Some people just are not aware of that fact.
5. A wall next to a door.  “Oops, I didn’t aim my feet properly.”
6. Any wall far away from the door.  What are people thinking when they do this?  Maybe if I close my eyes and walk straight ahead the door will just move so I can walk through it.
7. Poles, trees and other narrow, straight things.  This can hurt.  And you will look very stupid if you ever attempt this.
8. You’re computer screen.  Go on.  Try it.  You know you want to.
9. Expensive things in a store.  You’re all O.O and they people are all *o* and then it gets awkward and you have a large dent in your wallet.
10. A store display.  Beware.  If you do this everyone inside the store will turn to look.  The store attendants will give you dirty looks.  And then guilt will consume you.  Once this happens you may dash.  Or maybe you will apologize and dash.  Or possibly you will try to fix the display, but dash when it fails miserably.
11. People.  Nothing is more awkward.  Your hands may go flying and end up in a place you don’t want to be feeling up, or maybe you will spill a gallon of steaming hot coffee on their white clothes.  You never know.

That’s that.  🙂